Chapter II

2018-04-15 作者： 外研社编译组

Chapter II

Www.Pinwenba.Com 吧Chapter II

But where was he going?He began to come out of his trance of delight and liberty.Deep within him he felt the steady burning of shame in the flesh.As yet he could not bear to think of it.But there it was, submerged beneath his attention, the raw, steady burning shame.

It behoved him to be intelligent.As yet he dared not remember what he had done.He only knew the need to get away, away from everything he had been in contact with.

But how?A great pang of fear went through him.He could not bear his shamed flesh to be put again between the hands of authority.Already the hands had been laid upon him, brutally upon his nakedness, ripping open his shame and making him maimed, crippled in his own control.

Fear became an anguish.Almost blindly he was turning in the direction of the barracks.He could not take the responsibility of himself.He must give himself up to someone.Then his heart, obstinate in hope, became obsessed with the idea of his sweetheart.He would make himself her responsibility.Blenching as he took courage, he mounted the small, quick hurrying tram that ran out of the town in the direction of the barracks.He sat motionless and composed, static.

He got out at the terminus and went down the road.A wind was still running.He could hear the faint whisper of the rye, and the stronger swish as a sudden gust was upon it.No one was about.Feeling detached and impersonal, he went down a field path between the low vines.Many little vine trees rose up in spires, holding out tender pink shoots, waving their tendrils.He saw them distinctly and wondered over them.

In a field a little way off, men and women were taking up the hay.The bullock waggon stood by on the path, the men in their blue shirts, the women with white cloths over their heads carried hay in their arms to the cart, all brilliant and distinct upon the shorn, glowing green acres.He felt himself looking out of darkness on to the glamorous, brilliant beauty of the world around him, outside him.

The Baron’s house, where Emilie was maidservant, stood square and mellow among trees and garden and fields.It was an old French grange.The barracks was quite near.Bachmann walked, drawn by a single purpose, towards the courtyard.He entered the spacious, shadowy, sun swept place.The dog, seeing a soldier, only jumped and whined for greeting.The pump stood peacefully in a corner, under a lime tree, in the shade.

The kitchen door was open.He hesitated, then walked in, speaking shyly and smiling involuntarily.The two women started, but with pleasure.Emilie was preparing the tray for afternoon coffee.She stood beyond the table, drawn up, startled, and challenging, and glad.She had the proud, timid eyes of some wild animal, some proud animal.Her black hair was closely banded, her grey eyes watched steadily.She wore a peasant dress of blue cotton sprigged with little red roses, that buttoned tight over her strong maiden breasts.

At the table sat another young woman, the nursery governess, who was picking cherries from a huge heap, and dropping them into a bowl.She was young, pretty, freckled.“Good day!” she said pleasantly.“The unexpected.”Emilie did not speak.The flush came in her dark cheek.She still stood watching, between fear and a desire to escape, and on the other hand joy that kept her in his presence.“Yes,” he said, bashful and strained, while the eyes of the two women were upon him.“I’ve got myself in a mess this time.”“What?” asked the nursery governess, dropping her hands in her lap.Emilie stood rigid.

Bachmann could not raise his head.He looked sideways at the glistening, ruddy cherries.He could not recover the normal world.“I knocked Sergeant Huber over the fortifications down into the moat,” he said.“It was an accident but ”And he grasped at the cherries, and began to eat them, unknowing, hearing only Emilie’s little exclamation.“You knocked him over the fortifications!” echoed Fr?ulein Hesse in horror.“How?”Spitting the cherry stones into his hand, mechanically, absorbedly, he told them.“Ach!” exclaimed Emilie sharply.“And how did you get here?” asked Fr?ulein Hesse.“I ran off,” he said.